Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Chapter 20, An eye opening experience

I had one of those "standing outside myself" moments today. I was cleaning out the fridge, throwing out things that were green and fuzzy, and grumbling because there is so much stuff in it, when I felt like I was watching someone else. Here was this person complaining about having to deal with having what so many others want. food. I have cupboards full of canned goods. A deep freezer full of frozen meats and veggies, I could easily and honestly cook for a month and my family would eat well. all based on what is in the house right now. I stood up and looked around my home. True, my house needs a lot of work, but it has heat and running water. I have more fabric, yarn, thread, and craft supplies than I will be able to use in the next two years. I have a back bedroom stuffed with clothes that I have not even looked at in three years (when we moved into this house) and here I was complaining when there are so many people out there that would be thankful for just a little of what I have! It made me realize I need to rethink how I look at my life and what I have. I need to make better use of what I already have, and not worry so much about "wants." I end this year just as I started it, plenty of good intentions, to much food, to much stuff, to worried about what i want. and yet, maybe not. at this moment, I recognize the greed and thanklessness I have, and am already trying to improve my attitude and re plan what I will do this upcoming year. So maybe I end this year more aware of myself and others than when I started. And that must be a good thing.

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