Chapter 20, An eye opening experience

I had one of those "standing outside myself" moments today. I was cleaning out the fridge, throwing out things that were green and fuzzy, and grumbling because there is so much stuff in it, when I felt like I was watching someone else. Here was this person complaining about having to deal with having what so many others want. food. I have cupboards full of canned goods. A deep freezer full of frozen meats and veggies, I could easily and honestly cook for a month and my family would eat well. all based on what is in the house right now. I stood up and looked around my home. True, my house needs a lot of work, but it has heat and running water. I have more fabric, yarn, thread, and craft supplies than I will be able to use in the next two years. I have a back bedroom stuffed with clothes that I have not even looked at in three years (when we moved into this house) and here I was complaining when there are so many people out there that would be thankful for just a little of what I have! It made me realize I need to rethink how I look at my life and what I have. I need to make better use of what I already have, and not worry so much about "wants." I end this year just as I started it, plenty of good intentions, to much food, to much stuff, to worried about what i want. and yet, maybe not. at this moment, I recognize the greed and thanklessness I have, and am already trying to improve my attitude and re plan what I will do this upcoming year. So maybe I end this year more aware of myself and others than when I started. And that must be a good thing.

Chapter 19, A New Year

Well, tomorrow is New Year's Eve. I have been thinking and thinking about what "resolutions" I want to make for the upcoming year. I have decided I need to break it up into a few different groups. 1. Health, 2. Creativity, and 3. Self-Improvement. There are so many things I want to accomplish. LOL but I know myself well enough to know I can't possibly do all the things I think I want to do. I have also been wondering why we make resolutions. What drives us to try and change every year? How many people actually do change? How do I go from being one of the "masses" to one of the few who do succeed? Okay I just finished working on my goals for the said bar. I have two more I want to add to it, so will go back and add in a few minutes. Here is to the upcoming New Year, and becoming one of the few who succeed.

Chapter 18

Almost a new year. Just a few more days. This year has gone by so fast. I have been thinking about my "resolutions" for 2009, and wondering how to do better at keeping them. I usually do great for a week, maybe two. Once I made it almost to the end of January, but that is the best I have done. Sighs. This year I want to do better. This year I want to create and accomplish so much more. I want to explore and expand my potential. I hope to sit quietly with myself tonight, after Anthony goes to work and think about what I want to tackle this year. Hopefully I will post again tonight, just to make myself accountable. oh and just for fun, I think I will try and add a new picture of my wonderful Reesie Pieces.

Chapter 17, Peacocks, parots, flamingos and tulips

Wow, two posts in one day!!! Well. Grandma has asked for a crazy quilt with peacocks, flamingos, parrots and tulips, and an iris or two if I can fit them in. LOL not sure how I am going to do this one. oh, and she would like it by mother's day. talk about pressure. Not sure how I will do this one. I was just proud of myself for getting the four ornaments done. This one will be a challenge, but one I will tackle. I am hoping to get it started during Christmas break. maybe get most of the piecing done, that will leave me all of January, February, March and most of April to get the embellishing done. If I do 12 squares, (three of each design) there is a small possibility I will get it done. sighs. If I don't get it done by Mother's day, then she will get it when I make my trip to CA in July. Now, if I can just figure out how I am going to do this one...

Chapter 16, the first four crazy quilt orns.

well hopefully here they are. The first four attempts at crazy quilting. I am already hooked on it. I was hoping to have a few more done by now, but this cold or ick or whatever it is that I have had for over 2 weeks has really knocked me out. I have spent a little bit of time looking at pics of other peoples orns and I feel kind of silly being so proud of mine, but then everyone had to begin somewhere! I will improve, and I am still proud of them. The plus side to crazy quilting is that Reesie gets to sit in my lap as I work on them LOL which is his favorite place to be. I will have to get Anthony to take a pic of it soon. We will be getting the carpeting (1/2 of my Christmas present) at the end of January. That is the next time someone can be home to let the carpet guys in. The furniture should be in by February. Oh, and my fluffy butt baby goes to the groomer Tuesday and will once again be a beautiful pommie!!!! Anthony laughed at me when I was talking about how nice Reesie will look on the new furniture and carpet LOL.

Chapter 15 Getting ready for Christmas

Well, it is December 2. I have the tree up, but no lights or ornaments on it yet. I have finished 4 crazy quilt ornaments and I am going to bake dough ornaments with the boys tomorrow at work, so I am hoping to have the tree "trimmed" by Friday night. I really want the house to look welcoming for the Holidays. We are starting our Christmas shopping next week, so I will get to place a few gifts out then. And I have to get some stuff for their stockings. But I have until the 18th to get that stuff done. I love the feeling of Christmas. I missed the First Sunday of Advent. I am not sure what it is, but I will have to do some research on it. This going to Mass and holidays is all new to me. I have class tonight, so maybe I will ask them about it.

Chapter 14 the new beginning

Wow, I had no idea it had been so long since my last writing! Ideally I would like to post weekly. I need to set new goals for the upcoming year. I did not do so good on the last ones. I have finally worked on some crazy quilting! I have done three whole ornaments. I am hoping to get pics of them and then maybe I will try posting them. It has been a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend. Anthony has decided that for my Christmas present this year, he is getting the living room carpeted. He also let me pick out a new sofa, chair and ottoman. I am so excited!!! It was such a treat getting to look at furniture, and being able to pick what I wanted from the showroom, not the scratch and dent section! I got to even choose fabric! We are getting a dark blue set. Then I got to pick my carpet (Kokomo Rose) it is going to look so pretty! I am so lucky to have a husband that loves me and spoils me. I am so thankful for Anthony. I can't even imagine my life without him!

Chapter 13

okay, my first official day of summer. Yesterday was my last day of work. I was supposed to be in class today for the mentor/priode program, but until we get the house fixed up, we were told not to come to classes. sighs. I even got rid of my kitties. I feel like they are telling me I am not good enough. Anthony says it is because they do not think we will do all that we ahve to do to pass inspection,a nd that we will prove them wrong. I hopw so. I plan on doing a little housework today (at least clearing a path to my sewing machine and cleaning off the table) so I can iron and cut my muslin for the base of my crazy quilt. I am going to cut 9 blocks, to get started with. I should be able to get nine blocks done this summer. i know it will only take me an afternoon to sew the blocks, it is the embelishing that is going to take the summer.
We are in a heat wave here. with the heat index, it has been like 104 and very humid. I hate humid. I miss the desert at times like this. sighs.

Chapter 12

I did not realize how long it has been. Life gets in the way of so many things. A lot has been happening here. Anthony and I are working on fixing up the house to pass inspection for the Mentor/Pride program. We are going to be foster/adoptive parents. the sad part is giving up all my kitties. They have to go. I think Monday he is going to try and get them to the ASPCA. It breaks my heart. we have been trying for two months to find them a home, but no luck.
I have decided to make this the summer of rediscovery. I have stopped creating. I have done very little cross stitch, embroidery, knitting, crocheting, or quilt making. That has to change this summer. I let depression and family problems get in the way. I only have a week and a half of school left, then we are out for the summer, so I am going to take my 8 weeks or so and create. I also plan to develop some kind of schedule. I have got to get back on track. I have stopped exercising and my diet is all bad. So it is time to get back on track.

Chapter 11

Reesie is a very brave little dog. He tried so hard to help me last night. Anthony had to work, and I was home alone. Because of his collar (5 more days) he has been sleeping in my room. Last night I went into low blood sugar. Usually I catch it when it starts and can handle it. Last night I wasn't able to catch it. It felt like I was having a seizure. I was drooling, couldn't control my body. Reesie was trying so hard to get up on the bed and help me. I was finally able to call Anthony, who rushed home, got some sugar into me, and went back to work. My brave little pommie stayed with me the whole time, keeping his little head in my lap, or sitting right next to me. Last night scared me. Having my little brave pommie made all the difference. Okay, having my big brave husband is what really made all the difference, LOL but my pommie was a very close second!

Chapter 10

It has been an eventful weekend. I am so glad February 29 only happens once every four years. All was going well until about 7:00pm. Reesie, Chester and Misha were paying, when Reesie got hurt. I heard him yelp, and he came running up to me, just trembling and shaking. Chester had somehow popped his eye almost out. Reesie's poor little left eye was popped/bugging out, he couldn't close it, and it was all red, it looked like it was ready to completely pop out. I rushed my baby to the pet ER, where they were able to pop it back in. We were lucky, because I got him there right after it happened, they were able to get the eye back in without surgery, and putting him under. There is also a good chance he will still have some sight in the eye. So now my poor pommie has to wear a plastic collar so he can't scratch it (they had the nerve to give him a "cat" collar!) and he gets a gel in his eye 3 x a day and a pain syrup once a day. He has to stay in the collar for a week. The people at the pet ER said he was the most well behaved pommie they had ever seen, all of them loved him. (Of Course!!!! Reesie is my perfect baby! how could anyone not love him?) He looks so pitiful now, and I am so worried about him, but he seems to be doing good.
Misha is a handful. I have decided that Elkhound actually means "holy terror on feet". Misha is Russian for Michael, and actually means "from God"Chester means "fortress" and Reesie means "exuberant" So Anthony said that means we have an "Exuberant fortress from God" when talking about the dogs. But secretly, as much as I love Misha, (And I do, she is soooo cute!) sometimes I am not so sure she is from God! LOL
Well, tomorrow starts my new start. I have lost some weight, but had gotten lazy about exercise and food choices. So tomorrow I start afresh. I did do 10 minutes on the treadmill today, and plan on doing 10 more tonight. I like the way it made me feel. I am determined to lose 50 lbs by the time I go to CA this summer. I want to be 70lbs lighter when school starts in August, and I want to weigh in at 195 by Christmas. I know, lofty goals, but I think I can do it. I have gotten more active in sparkpeople.com, which is a wonderful place. It is like weight watchers, but a whole lot better. No fees, plenty of support, and so much wonderful information. I have even got Anthony to work out on the treadmill. So we are making changes. I have to admit to having some jealousy issues. I just found out that Tina is pregnant again, and that Bonnie has gotten down to a size 20. I want to be a 14, or even, someday, a 12!

Chapter 9

A new Fur Baby.
We had two dogs and four cats, more than enough fur babies for any sane person. I had my Pommie, Reesie, ruler of my heart, the Cheeseball, Chester, our big lovable clown, and the "bad cats" who make me smile, and keep me moving. Until yesterday. Yesterday my prince charming gave me my Valentine gift a few days late. On Valentinte's day, Anthony gave me a cute stuffed dog who begs for hugs from hallmark, and 3 lbs of Chocolate from Boscov's (my secong favorite candy!) I thought that was it. We had plans to go out to dinner tonight to celebrate. Then yesterday happen. Friends of ours have Norewegian Elkhounds. One of their females had 5 puppies, and they had found homes for 3 of them. We had visited them a month ago and I fell in love with them, I wanted one so bad, but Anthony said we did not need 3 dogs, and we could not afford to board 3 dogs when we go away for the summer. When we visited our friends yesterday, they had 2 females left. They had been selling the puppies, but offered us one for free. All I did was look at my prince charming, and he said we would take one. So now we have Meesha, or Misha, still not sure how we are going to spell it. She is a beautiful babies. and I have a feeling will be my "baby girl" and spoiled rotten before long. Elkhounds are part of the spitz family, which I have already figured out seems to be my favorite dog "family" (with the exception of Pugs, LOL) So now I am a Pommie/Elkhound/Cheeseball mommie. Or I guess a Spitz mommie. MMMM will have to think about it. Not sure how to word this new title. LOL

Chapter 8

I need to write more often. This has become my journal. Somethings are still way to private to write here, but I still need to write more. We are in the season of Lent. It started Wednesday. (2/6/08) I am giving up fried food. (and maybe french fries.) Anthony has decided to give up caffene. This is the first time he has decided to give something up. I am not catholic, but am thinking aobut going to the catholic church for Nicholas and Amanda. I wonder if there is a way to blend my beliefs with the Catholic church? I will have to look into it more. IT bothers me, not belonging to a church. I need the fellowship. I need to be "fed" and taught. I will talk more to Christine about it this weekend. Not doing so hot with the exercise, but I do manage to get between 11,000 and 15,000 steps in on most school days. I need to buckle down. I am hovering at 298. Glad I am below 300, but I want to move down. So I am setting little mini goals. the first is getting below 290. That is my goal by 2/17. get to 289. Then my next goal will be to get to 280. I would like to be to 280 by 3/1. Then 270 by 3/28. 260 by 4/20. 250 by 5/20. 240 by 6/20. 230 by 7/20, 220 by 8/20 , 210 by 10/01, and 200 by 11/15. Then maybe I could make 190 by Christmas. I am hoping. I know I can do it. I have faith in myself, and Anthony is very encouraging.

Chapter 7

Life can be interesting. Someone on one of my yahoo groups shared a site, flylady.com, and my world seemed to change. I love her attitude. baby steps. I tend to forget I did not get this way overnight, so I will not be able to change overnight. I have a lot to learn about myself, although I have already learned a few new things about me. I have learned that I love the way I feel after working out. I love how I feel when I am making good food choices. These are two things I would never have thought of myself. I need to do more with this. I need to spend more time cleaning and exercising. I have been thinking, and I think if I spend 20 minutes a day cleaning, and 20 minutes a day (on top of my workout with Ingley) exercising (walking) I will be heading in the right direction. I need to take my health/wight/emotional well being seriously. So that is my goal for the next 2 weeks. It is time to quit being afraid, face my fears, and move on. In almost any situation, what I fear the most is losing my job, then my home. I can always find another job, The Lord will always provide a home. The Lord has shown me a few things these past few days that I need to work on, so I will. 2008 is the year I reclaim/become who I am meant to be. This is the year I attain my goals. This is the year I discover/grow. I am already doing things I never thought I would do (using the exercise ball and treadmill) I am going to be. Be alive, be growing, be stretching, be smart, be funny, I am going to be.

Chapter 6

half way through January. Is hard to believe. On the plus side I have lost 4 pounds, and have managed to exercise an average of 3 times a week. Not great, but much better than I did last year. I have started working on my cat cross stitch sampler again. This is the year I finish it! Same with my crocheted afghan. I am off to a good start with my scrapbooking project. Okay, so i only took pictures, but at least I have some pictures from January. If all goes well, I will get the pics scrapbooked next weekend. If I can get 3 or 4 pages per month, It will be a nice scrap book. Anthony said I can buy a wedding scrapbook in March, so I plan on working on that this summer. I really want a wedding album. I have kind of started to clean out my sewing room, so Ihope to start my quilts again by the end if the month. I have let depression take away a lot o things. Now it is time to take it back.